Jokes
DATING APPS – THE USED CAR LOT OF LOVE (NOW WITH MORE MILEAGE AND LESS HOPE)
WELCOME TO THE DIGITAL AUTO MALL OF DESPAIR Welcome to modern romance, where love is no longer found in smoky bars or awkward setups from your aunt. It’s parked on a virtual lot next to a thousand other vehicles, all shouting: “Low mileage! Great paint job! Serious inquiries only!”
By The Pompous Postabout 9 hours ago in Humor
The Housing Market is on Fire... Literally. Rent Comes with Free Marshmallows Now.
Welcome, You Brave Homeless Souls Congratulations, reader. If you’re viewing this newsletter, it means you can still afford Wi-Fi… Cherish that… Because according to Zillow, the average rent for a one-bedroom apartment is now an arm and a leg, one functioning kidney, a vial of dragon’s blood, and three Funko Pops from 2018.
By The Pompous Post3 days ago in Humor
Duct Tape, Bubble Gum, and Baling Wire: The Poor Man’s Welding Torch
They say necessity is the mother of invention. But out here in the real world, it’s more like duct tape, bubble gum, and baling wire are the unholy trinity of emergency repair… and she is one tough mama.
By The Pompous Post7 days ago in Humor
The Greatest Pranks Are The Ones You Commit Everything To
Pranks can be a good time, but they do, sometimes, present some risk. Some of the pranks that I played when I was younger, particularly in my earlier years, are not things I would attempt today. For example, when two girls that me and my college age buddy were constantly getting us, including things like toilet papering the tree in front of my house, or egging his car, or weird phone calls before caller i.d. was a thing, us guys set out on a mission to prove our superiority as pranksters. But what were we to do?
By Jason Morton9 days ago in Humor
Why the Rich Never Tell White Lies After Labor Day
Every year, as the last rosé is chilled, the final seaplane taxis off to Aspen, and Labor Day folds its socially acceptable linen napkin, an ancient tradition quietly stirs among the elite: They stop telling white lies. Why you ask?
By The Pompous Post10 days ago in Humor
OOPS!
I saw it in slow motion, Angie's arm going up into the air, her hand gripping her ice cream cone. The cone and ice cream separating from her hand, from each other. Tumbling down to the pavement in unceremonious somersaults, like an Olympic diver who had gotten drunk before their big moment.
By Raine Fielder10 days ago in Humor
Inside the Mind of Dr. Tina Quartz: Healer, Hoax, or Just Really Into Mason Jars?
You’ve heard the name whispered across candlelit kombucha bars. You’ve seen her quotes tattooed in Comic Sans on the backs of people named Trysten. You may have even enrolled, accidentally, in one of her courses after clicking on an ad that said: “Unlock Your Aura’s Credit Score.”
By The Pompous Post14 days ago in Humor
Lunar Vuitton: Why Space Needs Fashion More Than Oxygen
“One small step for man, one fierce strut for mankind.” – Naomi Armstrong (probably) Friends, readers, celestial wanderers… we must address the glaring oversight in modern space exploration: the complete and utter lack of fashion-forward thinking beyond our stratosphere.
By The Pompous Post17 days ago in Humor
