The Fall
For falling leaves
Warmth eddies through blue.
False flame turns death to glory.
Mistaken, I rise.
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The Cave Part 11
Darkness, and the countless points of light, as if the entire void beyond was filled with the fire of a million stars. I felt as if I was staring into the eternity of a night sky beyond those wooden doors, the place beyond the actual reality, while I stood behind a curtain of scenery, the mountain and sky a mere pretense. And in that void beyond of unfathomable space, there hung suspended a mighty shard of crystal floating in place, with hundreds of a far smaller chunks orbiting around it in balanced but intersecting circles, no two in the same path. These caught the light from the center, and sparkled with inner fire each.
By Jamye Sharp4 days ago in Chapters
Comments (20)
WOW. Congrats. I write about the Asian Gothic, but VOCAL rejects them, so I am moving to another blogging site. I do love reading you🌺❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Thank you ❤️❤️❤️ ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🥀 ✨🔥🥀 ✨🔥🥀 ✨🔥
Love the contrarian perspective you give on fall (the fall?). Congrats on placing in the challenge!
I, like many others, love how you chose to highlight the rise, rather than the fall side of things. Was dramatic because of that. Well done on placing! You've had an exceptional run since being back! Very impressed and proud!
Stunning work, Hannah. Congratulations on your win!🍂
I love that you've made it about rising, rather than falling, and it works so well 😁 Well done my fellow runner upper 😁 👏 🏆
Congratulations Hannah! Lovely haiku.🥳
Wooohooooo congratulations on your win! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
Gorgeous, Hannah! Love your ending— perfect haiku! ✨🩷🎉
So many ways I could interpret this beautiful haiku, but then again, no need to. It’s powerful as it stands. Congratulations on your win 🥳
So much in so few! Congratulations
I like the contrast to the obvious "fall" that so many of us have used in ours Hannah. Thought-provoking!
The concision here is impressive. In three lines, you establish atmosphere, metaphor, and ambiguity – hallmarks of an effective haiku.
Stunning work Hannah! 🧡🍂
Whoaaaa, your second line, that was my favourite! Loved your Haiku!
Autumn sometimes feels like a kind of death and also rich and glorious like this haiku. I love the incongruity of your ending. Good luck on the challenge!
Stunning
Your work is consistently good. I love the photo. The ending was unexpected and pleasantly jarring. Did you consider reversing the first line to "Blue eddies through warmth?" because of the photo? I'm not suggesting a change. I was just curious.
Gonna win. I call it!
Gorgeous!!
A beautiful haiku!!