Family
DATING APPS – THE USED CAR LOT OF LOVE (NOW WITH MORE MILEAGE AND LESS HOPE)
WELCOME TO THE DIGITAL AUTO MALL OF DESPAIR Welcome to modern romance, where love is no longer found in smoky bars or awkward setups from your aunt. It’s parked on a virtual lot next to a thousand other vehicles, all shouting: “Low mileage! Great paint job! Serious inquiries only!”
By The Pompous Postabout 3 hours ago in Humor
Whoopsie!
I'm just gonna say it right now... I'm sorry. I know things have been weird since I moved out, and I wanna clear the air because my pastor says that holding onto a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. I'm the bigger person, so I'm reaching out first.
By Sara Wilsona day ago in Humor
Survival of the Wittiest: Was Human Language Driven by Humour?
According to a daring new study that was published in PNAS Nexus, human language evolution was motivated by wit rather than just the necessity to survive. Ljiljana Progovac, a linguist at Wayne State University, suggests that sexual selection actively favoured quick-wittedness, or the capacity to connect words in smart, humorous ways. It's possible that our predecessors joked their way into sophisticated language.
By Francis Dami2 days ago in Humor
The Housing Market is on Fire... Literally. Rent Comes with Free Marshmallows Now.
Welcome, You Brave Homeless Souls Congratulations, reader. If you’re viewing this newsletter, it means you can still afford Wi-Fi… Cherish that… Because according to Zillow, the average rent for a one-bedroom apartment is now an arm and a leg, one functioning kidney, a vial of dragon’s blood, and three Funko Pops from 2018.
By The Pompous Post2 days ago in Humor
Sorry About The Goldfish
I’d like to begin with a simple apology... I’m sorry about the goldfish. I know it was your daughter’s favorite. And I understand that, from your perspective, there was no reason for it to be anywhere near the office microwave. In my defense, I didn’t think it would fit, which is why I only tried it for a second!
By Kaliyah Myers5 days ago in Humor
The Miss Gloria Hour: Is Taylor Swift Really Her Guest This Week?
“Trixie! What’s going on? Why are you calling me at three in the morning? I’ve gotta be up early. We have a big day.” “I am so sorry, Jason. I just received a phone call from Debbie. She's at Cedar Sinai. She tried calling you twice but you didn’t answer. She left you a few voicemails. Gloria is in the hospital.”
By Rick Henry Christopher 6 days ago in Humor
Duct Tape, Bubble Gum, and Baling Wire: The Poor Man’s Welding Torch
They say necessity is the mother of invention. But out here in the real world, it’s more like duct tape, bubble gum, and baling wire are the unholy trinity of emergency repair… and she is one tough mama.
By The Pompous Post7 days ago in Humor
Why the Rich Never Tell White Lies After Labor Day
Every year, as the last rosé is chilled, the final seaplane taxis off to Aspen, and Labor Day folds its socially acceptable linen napkin, an ancient tradition quietly stirs among the elite: They stop telling white lies. Why you ask?
By The Pompous Post9 days ago in Humor
The Lavender Tsunami and the Great Pool Slide Barricade
Dear Mary, Please accept my most sincere apologies for the state of the downstairs guest bathroom. I know you specifically asked me to keep the “Sanctuary Suite” pristine for your mother’s arrival this evening, and I truly regret that the Egyptian cotton towels now smell faintly of low-tide and desperation.
By Meko James 9 days ago in Humor
How I Ruined Christmas
To the love of my life, I’m unfortunately unable to marry you. As I have had something that I needed to confess for the past six months. That I have done something so vile and so disgusting that I cannot say it to your face. Writing it out for you is one of the most difficult things I have done in the past three years we’ve known each other. Leaving it on your pillow in the hopes that you’ll see it after I don’t come to the altar.
By Raphael Fontenelle10 days ago in Humor
OOPS!
I saw it in slow motion, Angie's arm going up into the air, her hand gripping her ice cream cone. The cone and ice cream separating from her hand, from each other. Tumbling down to the pavement in unceremonious somersaults, like an Olympic diver who had gotten drunk before their big moment.
By Raine Fielder10 days ago in Humor
